Some Christmas carols, updated to be more culturally relevant, from Jesus Radicals:

1. Uh Oh We’re In The Red, Dear
to the tune of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Uh oh we’re in the red, dear.
On our credit card it shows
Christmas is almost over,
But the debit line still grows.
Shopping like Santa’s zombies,
Sent our budget down in flames
But all our Christmas spirit
Helped the giant retail chains.
I’m so foggy Christmas eve,
Wondering how we’ll pay
Christmas doesn’t seem so bright
When our finances are tight.
So here’s a plan for next year
Let’s forget the shopping spree
Let’s give a gift of love, so
All our Christmas gifts are free.

2. Listen to the Message
to the tune of Oh, Tennenbaum

Oh shopper dear
Come over here
And listen to our message.
Oh shopper dear come over here
And listen to our message.
The women who toil
In far off lands
So you can wear
Your favorite brands.
Don’t get a break-from dawn `till dusk
It isn’t right — let’s make a fuss.
When buying shirts and pants and stuff
Ask were the workers paid enough.

3. Profits
to the tune of Jingle Bells

You’re eating up our lies
And dashing to the stores
Then all our prices rise
And how the money pours
If we don’t keep you drugged
And watching your TV
You might see the hypocrisy
Then where would business be?

Profits here, profits there,
Profits everywhere
Christmas time is funny,
We smell money in the air
Advertise, glamorize,
Fool you with a flair.
Let’s make sure that Christmas
Is a businesslike affair.

We’ll tell you how to think
And tell you what to try
What to eat and drink
And how to live and die
And if our plan succeeds,
When Christmas-time is nigh
Instead of seeking love and peace
You’ll hunt for gifts to buy
(repeat chorus)

4. Buy And Sell
to the tune of Silver Bells

City sidewalks, busy sidewalks
Lined with advertising
It’s the big retail season of Christmas.
Children begging for each new thing
Toys for mile after mile
And the mood of the season is clear.
Buy and sell (Buy and sell)
Buy and sell (Buy and sell)
It’s Christmas time for consumers.
Ching-a-ching (ching-a-ching)
Cash registers ring (registers ring)
Must we spend Christmas this way?
Maxing credit, running debits,
Buying things we don’t need
With money we don’t really have.
Children crying, parent sighing
No time for family
And the reason behind it is clear.
(repeat chorus)

Love Wins